Darker Shade of Blue [LM5, Strange Charm, Closed]

[Sharn]

After their salvaging was done, Sharn wandered away from the cockpit, toward the engine, allegedly to check on the system strain, but even he did not pretend that it was anything else than an excuse. He often wanted to be alone with his thoughts, but the tension on his face indicated that this case might be different.

[Syzygy Anion]

Taking a break from the helm, Syzygy wandered off as well. She retrieved some jogan to snack on and continued through the ship until she came across Sharn. She took a bite from one of the purple fruits as she approached.

[Sharn]

"I'd like a purple snack too." He remarked, catching her image in the peripheral. He stood straightened as if for a drill or command function, facing the engine, arms crossed behind his back.

[Syzygy Anion]

"Conveniently, I grabbed two." She held one out. "A jogan for your thoughts?"

[Sharn]

He accepted the fruit, brushing her hand in passing, then munching it in silence, some of the juice trickling down his chin. "I am wondering how much I can be certain that I am in control of myself. Not in the sense of conscious versus subconscious, reason versus emotions, or resistance to social manipulation. I am wondering how much of my mental processes that lead to decision-making are actually delocalised, away from my body, in a dimension the Force inhabits."

[Syzygy Anion]

"Does the Force do that?" she asked quizzically. "I don't really know much about it, just a few stories about the evil of the Jedi."

[Sharn]

"That's what I am considering now, whether it can, or at least whether it enables another will to use it in such a fashion without me realising it." He paused. "That man has defined himself as once a seneschal to the True Sith. Which probably denotes an extinct species that gave its name to a darker religion in opposition to the Jedi cult. Which in turn had its brief renaissance with Lord Vader. His capabilities are quite... uncharted."

[Syzygy Anion]

"I... I'm not sure what any of that means." she said apologetically. "What man?"

[Sharn]

"Reincarnated Lord Nygmus. I mentioned him yesterday." He said with slight irritation. "He's calling me now in a way I cannot fully comprehend. If I go to meet him after landing, will the decision be my own?"

[Syzygy Anion]

"Do you want to go to him?"

[Sharn]

"That's what I am uncertain of!" He growled. "I feel the urge to go and claim all that I can from this opportunity to understand the Force more but I can't make the call whether this urge is genuinely mine!"

[Syzygy Anion]

"How long have you studied the Force? What have you done previously to gain more knowledge of it?" she asked.

[Sharn]

"I discovered that I have little symbionts in my cells that make me Force-sensitive several years ago, soon after Yavin. But the phenomena it causes and enables have been studied by me since I remember, at least its astrophysical aspects. Until recently, however, my approach had been non-participatory, purely scientific. With Lord Vader still around back then, that had been as much a normative choice as a necessity. Now, it has become more complex. For the engineer and experimentator in me, studying at a distance is no longer enough, especially as it impacts me personally in profound ways."

[Syzygy Anion]

"Are there other options for gaining the knowledge this Nygmus might offer? I imagine such resources are limited." She bit into her fruit.

[Sharn]

"The probability that I would find another direct source of insight on the Force reaching back 20 thousand years that would be eager to share them is effectively zero." He replied, after a moment of probably calculating it.

[Syzygy Anion]

"What is the risk of meeting with him?" she stepped closer. "If he is influencing you, could he control you?"

[Sharn]

"Unknown, potentially significant but mitigated by the fact that he has demonstrated little hostility toward me. Controlling me is probably well within his capabilities, but it at least doesn't seem as if it has happened or is about to happen. Though it's not about the risk factor, more about the nature of the reward." He turned to her to accommodate her closeness. He placed his hand to the side of her neck and massaged it gently. "Yesterday I discovered I can alter organic matter by will alone, at the molecular level. I could kill or heal with my touch. This is not something I had been able to do before."

[Syzygy Anion]

Her eyes widened briefly, but she didn't move away from his touch, smiling instead.

"What do you think about having that ability? That's a significant change to who you are."

[Sharn]

"With scientific prudence. I am going to use it sparingly as long as it is not supported by my deep understanding of the process. Neither will I hold back in healing my associates and hurting any hostiles that impinge on my survival and fundamental interests. I briefly contemplated cutting my arm to demonstrate to you how it works but since you believe me outright, I see no reason to inflict pain upon myself." His fingertips buried shallowly in her hair.

[Syzygy Anion]

"You've never given me reason not to trust you." she smiled. "It does seem like a good ability to have. And, it seems like knowing more would be beneficial. Just be careful, if you met with him. It doesn't seem like learning these abilities would be free. Would you like me to go with you?""