Noventa - A Star Wars Story

“Just a little side job I have for myself of late. Then... I dunno... maybe some hiking?”

He looked over to Cal, “What about you?”

"Could be." Cal sighed, smiling ruefully. "I'll admit, I'm still getting used to the experience myself. Well, beats the alternative, as people keep seein' fit to remind me."

He tossed back the rest of his bourbon, setting down the glass with a thunk. "Well. Where're you off to, anyway? If you don't mind my asking, that is."

"Depends I guess... internally a lot of it all stays the same from what I gather. It's mostly just cosmetic stuff on the outside that switches up. So if I had like... a broken leg, it'd still be broken." He replied.

"So I guess I feel like a 30-ish year old most of the time. But it's probably a bit different from a human experience."

Cal chuckled. "Well, that doesn't surprise me much. I keep Kor around just so I'm not the oldest one on the crew." His expression grew more serious. "And he's a good sort, too. Looks after Quinn." He chuckled again. "Someone's got to."

He looked at Soren curiously again. "Do you feel it? Getting older? I mean, when you change into the body of... which is the young one you do sometimes? When you're her, do you still feel your age?"

"Age? Same as it does to most people I guess... My body gets old and dies too... Even if you don't see it happening." He replied.

He then began doing a bit of math in his head, "Hmm... I'm probably about 30-ish right now..."

"Well, yeah, obviously there were immediate needs." Cal drawled. "But, in the years since then. Ever think about seeing if there's a trace of her somewhere?"

He frowned. "And how old does this make you. And what does age mean to you, anyway?" Since Soren could adopt a form of just about any age, although weight was a factor.

He shook his head, "Nope. If she wasn't captured, she'd have come and met me at our rendezvous point... and after that... if she was free... there was no way that I'd be able to find her if the Empire couldn't. I had to find a way to get food."

Cal nodded slowly, his eyes narrowing. It was some time before he responded.

"You ever go looking for her?" He asked.

"Eventually I got busted out by a woman who used to be an operative for the Republic in the Clone Wars." He continued.

"But then we got tracked down. Got separated. And I spent the next... now what... 15 years or so of my life been trying to make it on my own... bouncing around here and there."

As Soren began, Cal sat forward. His expression grew more interested as the shapeshifter spoke. "I see." He said, nodding. "Makes sense." He set his glass down, waiting for Soren to continue.

He paused for a second before starting, “My people soon were targeted by the Empire. We were either a great threat or a great tool... so we had to make a choice as which to be and the Empire treated us according to our actions. My parents opted for the safer route and I was put in a training program for the first decade or so of my life.”

After a moment, understanding flashed in Cal's brown eyes. "An infiltrator, or a spy."

He grimaced, shaking his head. "If you don't want to tell me exactly what happened, that's fine. I'll understand. But otherwise..." He gave Soren a nod. "Well, if you don't mind tellin', I'd like to hear."

"If you had to guess what people like me's most likely job back when the Empire was running things was... what do you think it'd be?" He asked.

Cal sat back a little, crossing his arms. "I'm afraid you lost me, friend." He said. "Programming? Deprogramming? What does all of that mean, in practical terms? What actually happened?"

"Nah, like I said... I gotta drive in a bit." He replied with a shake of his head.

"As a kid I was programmed a bit different than most folks... the process of deprogramming that version of myself has left some... I dunno what to call it... 'Inconsistencies' maybe?"

"A mutually beneficial exchange?" Cal chuckled. "Well, okay. Sounds good to me. Although that's more for what I use when talking about Mr. Ribmatt."

His expression grew more serious as Soren went on. Cal sighed. "Yeah. I can see that. I've felt that from time to time, talking to one or the other of you. Each of them feels like a different person." He sighed again. "Don't know if there's much I can say about that. You sure you don't want a drink?"

"That's a nice sentiment and all, but to be honest... it's very intrinsically not just their problem. You and I have an arrangement where we find this exchange mutually beneficial. But since the other members have little that I would require to survive or thrive on, they would rightfully look at me with an air of suspicion."

He shifted in his seat, "I can be anyone. Be anywhere. See them at their most vulnerable... and they never will see me. My personas have too much utility for me to cast them aside. There's part of me that wonders very much who or what I am at times... and since there is no inner confidence in me... nothing that clearly defines me as me and my personas as something else... it is impossible to imprint a level of confidence into another that extends beyond a temporary agreement."

"Huh." Cal didn't know quite what to say to that. It seemed like a pretty insoluble problem. "That's rough, buddy." He finally offered.

After a moment, he shrugged. "Well, you'll always have a place here. And far as I'm concerned, if someone doesn't trust you, well, that's there problem." He shrugged. "Don't know if that helps, but that's how it is."

"Nope. Put a good finger on it. There's always that tension." He nodded.

Slowly, Cal nodded. "Seems to me that a lot of people have a hard time trusting someone who can change their face. I imagine that makes it hard to send trust back the other way, too."

He narrowed his eyes. "Or is there more to it than that?"