Glimpses of the Past

[Jelna Vawn]

Fiction thread, I suppose! Posting it up here for the time being.

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“And this is the captain’s quarters.” Zerra leaned against the ship’s corridor and flashed her teeth. They were perfect, just like the rest of her. “What do you think?”

“It suits you well, like your outfit. New jacket, I presume? It is sharp on you.” Jelna looked over her shoulder for the rest of the crew. They were likely discussing something inane again like nicknames for the crew. What Kai saw in them was beyond her and the twi’lek, Cefey, only enabled him.

She knew that she had no position to judge though if those two were fraternizing.

“Me? Captain?” The former stormtrooper sergeant stifled a giggle, which was an utter shame. Zerra had the cutest laugh in the whole galaxy. With all the tortured souls due to strife and turmoil, hers had always been one of the few genuine ones. “I thought we agreed you were going to be captain.”

Jelna sighed. “Since I did formerly hold the highest ranking position, it would be proper. But we are certainly not Imperial anymore.”

“Maribelle-”

“Jelna,” she hushed her. It pained her that she had interrupted Zerra but it had been necessary. Everyone needed to adopt the cover story for it to work.”

Zerra tucked a stray strand of her red hair beyond her ear. “Jelna,” she repeated, clearly getting the picture, “I know you would be most comfortable as the lead.”

She was right, for the most part. Cefey was a former slave and used to following somebody else. Kai had a lack of professionalism that irked Jelna constantly. Lena’s loyalties to the group were up to question. She did not seem the treacherous sort but complications could arise. Zerra had years of experience as a squad leader. She was intelligent, decisive, considerate, charismatic, and more.

“And so would I,” Zerra agreed, “I’m used to following your orders, after all.” She gave her iconic wink and punched in the code for the room. It was the date of their anniversary and the thoughtfulness put a smile on Jelna’s face. “Thank you for complimenting my clothes, by the way.”

“There are more where that came from.” When they walked inside, Zerra’s belongings were already stacked in the room. They were still left unpacked, out of politeness. “We just agreed that I was going to be captain,” Jelna murmured.

“Of course! But,” Zerra said, dragging out the word. She swayed her hips in an exaggerated fashion before plopping down on the bed. “I figured we ought to move in together at long last.”

Jelna’s eyes went back to the entrance. “But what about the rest of the crew?”

This time Zerra felt more free to laugh freely. “You need to have more faith in them. They aren’t blind fools. Other we would have never agreed to align with them.” She traced from her waist downwards with the tips her fingers. “And those analytical eyes of yours always tend to wander to me.”

“Oh hush.”

“Yes ma’am!” Zerra gave her practiced salute with a blank face. Another favorite joke of hers.

And it never failed to make Jelna laugh. It was discordant, though, hearing two of her own laughs at once in her ears. Much less pleasant than Zerra’s.

“Permission to speak?”

“Yes. Please, speak. You were always the more charming individual.” Jelna knew that was fact despite all of Zerra’s protests.

“Yes, yes, yes. Now, why don’t you be a dear and close that door. I’m in mood for breaking a lot of rules about ‘fraternization’ today, ma’am.”

“Ugh, you are impossible to manage.” Despite saying that, Jelna turned heel to the door. “We do have an entire room still available.”

Zerra tapped her chin. “It is going to waste. Perhaps we could liaison with another one of our old contacts. But who?”

“We could use it as a brig,” Jelna said after a few moments of silence, “If we take up bounty hunting, then we may need a place to keep live captives.”

“I thought we were moving away from violence.” Zerra’s distraught expression wounded Jelna more than any blaster ever had. “After all that has happened… do we need to?”

“We might have to. Our accounts are spent. None of us have any source of stable income.” A pause. “And our collective skill set lends itself to it.”

The former soldier covered her hands with her palms to hide her distress. She groaned behind that thin veil and then put on a smile. It was forced but she was trying to be strong for both of them. “Okay. Wherever the stars take us, I will be there for you.”

“I know,” Jelna said, “And I love you for it and so much more.”

“I love you too.”

Zerra closed her blue eyes and moved in for a kiss. Her hair had slipped back into her face but that was such a minute detail. Jelna’s eyes closed afterwards and tasted those lips once more. A finger traced her cheeks, a calloused palm cupped her chin.

But in their intimate moments, Jelna had grown accustomed to basking in the raw emotion that her lover had possessed. There had been so frequently those thoughts of how Zerra wanted more and more of Jelna and never wanted to even leave the room, not to mention her side.

And now she was gone forever.

Jelna shut off the neural recording and sat in her room, in the exact same spot as the memory dictated. She had repeated this one countless times and by now she had it rehearsed like an actress. That realization caused a surge of despair and her facade of normality cracked. She grabbed a pillow to cry in and it had been Zerra’s favorite and that, on top of everything else, drove her to screech and wail and sob into it.

After all, had to muffle that anguish. There was no way she was ever going to show weakness to the surviving crew.